Tuesday, 3 January 2012

go away

It's 2012, a new year, but I realised old problems won't go away. Its actually just changing a mere number from "1" to "2", its nothing much. Its not a new start, not even a new chance for people. This self-deception only holds for 3 days and reality strikes me back again. Self-deception that we all can start all over again. When we can't.

When can I have some peace in my life seriously. There is always so much stuffs happening everywhere, sometimes it might be good stuffs, but mostly bad stuffs. Even when I'm sick and away, trouble can locate me. Always when I'm finally almost over it, another piece of crap appears out of nowhere. All these made me so breathless. I need a break please. From you, you, you and you, just everybody. This thing that thing, everything. I give up okay, I can't cope, I don't know how to face it. I just wanna hide in a hole sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder, why must one's action be subjected to the criticism of another? Especially when that particular action did not specifically affect the person giving the criticism. Don't we live for ourselves? What right does the other person have to criticise another? Does he/she know the full story to give a comment? And what does he/she earn after lashing out the criticism? Self-satisfaction? And don't the person have better things to do in life rather than observing (just a nicer word for stalking) others?

Haven't even reach the starting point, and there are so many many obstacles already. Will I ever reach the starting point, and if I do, will there be even more obstacles behind the starting point? Will these obstacles strengthen or drain me out?

It has been a long time since I felt this horrible to post such stuffs on my blog. Suddenly, I just have so many random worries. I blog to retain happy memories originally, but somehow I really have to get all those stuffs off my chest. They've been bugging me for way too long.

My head is spinning, I don't even know if its the fever, the medicine or just these thoughts killing me from the inside.

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