Monday, 15 October 2012

Wanna kill yourself?

This is the first time I'm sharing this kind of posts on my blog, it looks kind of out of place on my blog but I guess its meaningful!

I must first declare that I didn't write this myself, in case people start accusing me of plagarism lol, academic integrity quiz. Got it off a friend's facebook timeline, he was sharing this, and this is the kind of posts that ask people to "share if you care". I thought it was quite meaningful but more applicable to a younger student's context and somehow exaggerated at some points.

I'm sharing this here as I feel that it brings across the message that one impacts many people, unknowingly. People do care but they might not show it is in obvious way or all the time. If you're gone, the lives of the people whom you loved and cared are all going to change. No one will want that right?

Pardon the loooong wordy post and some of the exaggerations, but do continue reading. If you're suicidal think again; if you're not suicidal, please shower more care and concern to the others around you!

Wanna kill yourself?

Imagine this.

You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You're just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you've written and re-written over and over and over again. You take out those razor blades and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.

A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinner's ready. You don't answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you lying on your bed so he thinks you're asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She's screaming your name. Your brother, so confused runs to go tell Dad that "Mommy is crying and Sissy won't wake up" your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what's going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him and they sit there, holding each other, crying.

The next day at school there's an announcement. The Principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in and when it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls think of all the things they've said to you. That boy that used to tease you and calls you names, couldn't help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. Can't handle it. He breaks down, starts crying and runs out of the school. Your friends? they're sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that something was wrong. Wishing they could've helped you before it was too late. And your bestfriend, she's in shock. She can't believe it. She knew what you were going through but she never thought it would get that bad... Bad enough for you to end it. She can't cry, she can't feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming but no tears coming out.

It's a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk but all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone is crying, your brother still doesn't know you killed yourself, he's too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your bestfriend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days.

It's 2 years later. The whole school talks to a counsellor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn't know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your bestfriend? She tried to kill herself. She didn't succeed like you did, but she tried... Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marrige fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.

People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don't just affect you. They affect everyone. Don't end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can't get better if you give up. I'm here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we've NEVER talked before, I'm here for you.

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